~Wondering~

~~~So many people around me are either A) Getting married or B)Having/have children...

Now don't get me wrong....I'm in no rush for either of those things to happen....I have to admit though they have been on my mind a lot more lately. It makes me wonder when it is going to happen and am I really patient enough to wait for the moments to come to me, or am I going to try and push it to come sooner than it should.

I love Preston with all of my heart and I cannot wait to spend the rest of eternity with him...I just wonder if I'm patient enough to do these things on his schedule....if I'm going to push him away by wanting to do it my way....or hopefully the better of all the options...we can come to some sort of compromise of when these two big events should take place.



~~~~Different subject....
I have court on the 14th...and I have to admit...I'm a little nervous. I really don't like the unknown. I hate not knowing what my lawyer is going to accomplish...how harsh the judge is going to be...I just hate not knowing....It really blows.



~~~~It seems as if the fates have some twisted plan going through their minds...trying to tempt me with flashes of the past....previous loves and vices seem to keep presenting themselves to me...its getting a little tiring. I am absolutely over the moon about those past loves reconnecting with me....they were a huge part of my life and they all changed me for the better....but they need to quit pushing me and telling me things just so the outcome would benefit them. I am truly happy with Preston and I am not going to do anything in which to screw that up. We've already put each other through enough.....
As for the vices...I've gone through every room in my house and eliminated the temptation of one...there are no longer any in the house. The alcohol though....I've been sober since April 3, 2010....not long I know...but every day is a battle...some days I know I can do this...I know I have to....others its just easier to not care what happens and just say fuck it I'm done. I know deep down in my heart I can do it and I can prevail and I will come out on the other side stronger and better than ever imaginable.

Thank you to all that have been supporting me through this.
I <3 you :D